A busy Friday.
Reaping the various existing thoughts in my mind, I thought I better outpour every each of them into a cup of hot cocoa. I went down to the pantry expecting a little break from a pile of tasks on my desk. There, I found this familiar young lady who always smiles at me whenever she meets me even if we never talk that much.
"No, let me make it myself. Thank you". I said to her.
She smiled again. 3 tea-spoons of cocoa and hot water. I stirred it. One sip, the flavor didn't taste that strong.
"One more spoon should be enough" I said to myself.
"You look good in red", said the lady behind me.
I startled, didn't notice she was staying behind me all the way.
"Oh really? Thank you. Yes it's Friday. I'm on fire" I replied.
"What's your plan tonight?"
"Nothing... I wanna head straight home. I've been staying late at work these past few days. I.. " I took a sip, tested the cocoa in my hand. It was just nice.
"Sorry. I'm, ah, kinda tired. I miss sleeping all day long", I continued.
"You should go out. You are still young"
I looked at her, said nothing and just smiled. I took one more sip.
"Oh Miss, your hair is wet"
"Oh ya I get caught in the rain, I was from a meeting outside earlier"
"You look tired", said the lady.
"Am I? Probably yaa.. I'm so deprived of sleep" I stirred the hot cocoa with the tea spoon.
"Well, this is just my suggestion, but on a rainy day like this, if I were you, I would go outside with my coffee. Just sit outside. I wouldn't want to think about the work I have. I want to enjoy the rain.", said the lady while mopping the floor.
"Well, I wouldn't do that"
"May I know why? You've got a lot of work to do?"
"No. It's just..." my eyes wandered. I couldn't help but sigh.
"There's just something about the rain that always brings out every memory that I've been trying to forget. And I kind of.. dislike it"
She stopped mopping and looked at me. For one second, I looked into her eyes and I could see a big question mark that asserted a further elaboration.
"Or maybe.. it's just my mood!" I chuckled hoping she wouldn't insist on giving me that stare.
"Woman, go out. I know you like the wind chimes. Sit near there. Hear the sound of the wind touching them. Smell the rain, see the greenery. Focus on the rain, not what is on your mind."
She left me in a daze. "I guess the rain is pretty hard. My cocoa is getting cold. Oh well.." I tried my best to distract her.
"You don't want to try?"
"Try what?"
"Go to the porch lobby and enjoy the rain?"
"I... " I was doubtful.
"Okay I will"
**
I heard the sound of wind chimes dancing freely with the wind blew my hair when that smell emerged. That, the pleasant smell that accompanies the first rain after a dry spell. Petrichor.
I held the cup of my cocoa really hard. My eyes wandered. Every now and then, I closed my eyes while sipping the cocoa trying to focus on the rain. How it sounded like. How it smelled like.
Then out of nowhere, a British guy came to me. I suddenly remembered of how he always called me with a pet name, Lily. I suddenly remembered the way he laughed, the way he made jokes, the way he stomped me when he was mad and the way he looked at me. He was there. He was sitting in front of me.
He seemed to keen on reminding me of every moment we shared together. What happened last November, I tried to recall with his looks that recited one story and another.
Then, I smelled this particular scent. The scent that I'm familiar with. There he was, the Korean guy with a white shirt. I put down the cup and smiled. He was sitting next to me.
I kept looking at him with a smile on my face. I sniffed his scent and all of a sudden those moments flashed in my mind. The moment when he looked at me, when he laughed, when he talked to me, when he tried to pronounce a few Indonesian words, his voice, his charming unfriendly tempered, his arrogant gestures and not to forget, his calmness. Then I tried to remember every inch of his body. His neat clean-shaven hair, the thick-frame of his spectacles, his bulky arms and his neat white teeth that caught my attention since the very start.
I was glad he was there. I missed him. I was so glad he came.
A little thunder interrupted my thoughts that hit me back to my hot cocoa. It turned so cold and its coldness aroused my scattered mind. The rain was getting really hard that resulted the wind chimes swaying wildly with the deafening sound, sounded much like my wandering mind was being forced to cling to the moment that I felt real was only a castle in the air.
I came back to the reality. No one was there but me. The British guy wasn't there, neither was the Korean guy whose presence I've been longing the most.
"Get a grip, Amalia", my heart shouted that.
I was a little bit resentful because I didn't like it. I didn't like it like this. She was wrong, the pantry lady was wrong. You can't only focus on the rain because You can't help but remember moments and people when it rains.
